After many hours writing, performing, collaborating, and deliberating I have sent my new project out into the world. And the result has been a range of utter excitement to terrible dread. At times I've let go from all my expectations. Just letting myself be happy that I did it. Then a shift to letting hope and fantasy propel me into the realm of mega success. Asking myself simply 'why not me'? Is it not good material? Are there not people that have heard it and given praise? And then the inevitable comparison of listening to other projects and telling myself, at the very least, it's just as good. It is the artists dilemma.
To share. To release. To put your music out there. Then somehow after all that to just let it go. As if the lesson, the moral of the story, is not clinging to an outcome. As if you shouldn't make a huge push to let the world know. I know this as I have done both. And yes it is a dilemma. I do have a sense of accomplishment. I have taken the steps to share my creativity. That is success. Or is it?
I write this short of my distributed material actually hitting their destination stations. Apple Music, Spotify, Pandora, Amazon Music, and many more. I write this short of whether anyone will actually listen. And, as you might suspect, I still have that hope. That wish my offering will find an audience. At least someone who will appreciate my creative offering. For this moment I will rest in the unknown and feel good I have done what I have said I will do.